Jaysus I feel like shite.
Not exactly hung over, more as if all my lifeblood has been drained and replaced by porridge. Zero blood sugar, zero hand/eye co-ordination, and this, at 15.31 in the afternoon. Sheeet.
It was the launch of the "Car Free London" exhibition last night, at which of course I missed out supper altogether, and of course just kept drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking….
So this is what I remember:
First part of evening: very lovely, lots of friends, see the exhibition, all jolly good stuff
Second part of evening: OXO tower top bar. Very nice, relaxed, excellent chats with friends, including Moira, who I haven't seen for about forty years
Third part of evening: Not exactly blank, but a number of isolated incidents, that munge together in to a sort of impressionistic whole. The "impression" in question being one of "Jesus woman - what the fuck were you doing?"
Sit down in chair, chair nearly falls over at some point or other as I'm trying to lean forward. Something about a long cigarette in an ash tray, Danny's taking the piss out of me for some reason and OH MY GOD DID I REALLY TELL HIM THAT WHAT THE FUCK WAS I DOING, later on, Cherie's snogging that woman from OM, everyone is discussing my love life (more on this later), I punch Danny or something? Somehow we're at the Embankment tube, but who though… me, Anno, who the fuck else? Accompany Anno to Victoria so she can get the train (uh? I mean, I know it was the decent thing to do and everything, but I was at The Embankment? the Northern Line, yet instead I toddled off to Victoria? My brain must have been like a cabbage), manage to get on a tube, apparently because now I can see the Balham station name from a window… I must have changed tubes at some point… er… dimly remember putting food out for the cats (a whole tin, it transpired this morning!!!!) and definitely remember getting into bed and passing out.
Only to wake up this morning and gradually start remembering things and wincing. What the hell was I doing, staggering around on my own in Victoria station, so drunk I don't know what the hell I was doing? Jesus. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
On the "my love life" front… actually this is quite depressing. I don't think I can talk about things like that on here any more. I only ever expect friends to look at this once, go "Blimey" and then forget about it. I'm not looking for… well. I don't know. I couldn't explain what I meant last night, because I was a little amazed at them taking something very specifically in a context on here, and asking me about it publicly in front of a crowd of other people.
Oh fuck all this. I'm feeling really drained and miserable, and I haven't got time to argue the toss right now. All I really feel like doing is going home and having a hug, but I've got to stay here at work.
In other words I'm looking for sympathy and feel rotten oh GOD I want all this nonsense to be over with!!!!!!! Please, next phase - move a-fucking-long-now thank you.