December 1998

14th

The work party was surprisingly a pretty good laugh. Chris, Gav n' I made the decision to get slaughtered, then at some point or other, it became imperative to dance to eighties and seventies disco trash. Dehydrated? Beyond pain the next day? What do you think…

Anyway, what was lovely about the party was realising how much I like a whole load of people I very rarely spend time with at work. Diane, Vicky, that bunch. It was really lovely just getting drunk and messing about with them.

Danny of course didn't bother turning up at Riley's when we were supposed to be meeting there on Saturday, enjoying Polly's amazingly good cooking, then going on to Mike's party. Yes, I was pissed off, but not so pissed when I realised he didn't even bother going to Mike's either. Riley's, bizarrely, was the first time I have ever had "hair of the dog" work for me. I was shaking, sweating (actually, as it turns out I had an awful flue/cold type deal happening, so it's not surprising - but at the time I thought it was just the extremo hangover)… the whole deal (god, I felt terrible) when, 2 hot rum punches later, I felt completely recovered.
Most disconcerting.

11th

See above. If you're in the UK, go to www.stand.org.uk and do the right thing.

7th

Good lordy, that Russell Crowe bloke…

Ok, don't go for film types that obviously, but that semi-bad Western "The Quick and The Dead" was on last night (why oh why was there a Sharon Stone tit shot? I mean, she looked fucking great through the whole film, genuinely gorgeous in a mussed up, hard type of way - then whammo, this brief shot of her breasts when she's fucking Crowe. Grrrrrr. It genuinely was not needed. Pissed me off) and Mr Crow did his thang with lovely long hair making him look good lord, quite delicious. I don't know why admitting to that makes me feel embarrassed but there ye go. Human emotions! Reacting to attractive visual stimuli and good acting - good lord she must be some sort of harlot!

6th

Nothing. Blankout. Playstation, washing up, reading, coldy, phegmy. See last weekend for approximate description

5th

Camden Market annual Christmas present trip. Fucking shit, all of it, except I got the Studs Kirby collected (Pete Bagge nonsense). Oh yes, it is very very good indeed. Also got a beautiful white wooden box for John and Shelagh (it's quite huge) that I will fill with "Lush" and Covent Garden type bathroom products.

4th

Elliott Smith with Chris, Alistair, Phil (the present "gig club" members). Hmmm-----ok. A bit too 'sanitised'. Chris's friend Bob was waxing about the lyric quality, but to be honest… ok, sounds stupid, but in a bona fide piece of art, if the guy can't say anything but fucking/fuck/fucked all the time then I think that's a bit lame. I kept thinking "this sounds like it would be in the sound track to some sub-Mallrats rip-off geek slacker movie. Turns out that he already has had a soundtrack tune in Good Will Hunting. So there you go, point made. But he was alright, you know… reminded me slightly of that sweet wee band from Canada, The Inbreds. Their album's great. Called something really stupid that makes them sound like a heavy metal band, but you know, you can't have everything.

Oh yes, I was going to mention Tom Paulin on The Late Review last night. Tosser. Oh god, words cannot contain the vile thoughts I was having about the things he said. The set up: the Paul Throux book about VS Naipaul. My opinion of it is a bit "duck and cover". I mean, I'm sure his editors briefly said "Do you think you should? Yes? Oh well - good-than-you-it'll-sell-thousands-and-be-the-cult-book-of-the-year", whereas in fact, it should have been published postumously, with about ten years distance between the writing of it and the re-writing of it (you can imagine the scene, Theroux reading his manuscript saying "Oh Christ, did I write that? Jesus, how embarrassing).
Anyway so the panel were reviewing this thing, and Paulin began to talk about the book as a history of these two authors. It was interesting in the places that dealt specifically with them both when they were struggling authors "leading the heroic life". Ok, so the heroic life in his case was - oh the poor souls, in order to devote their lives to writing, they had to do such awful traumas as write reviews to have enough money to live, so they could carry on writing.

Oh.

Oh the poor things, having to stoop so low as to do reviews for a living whilst they lived in garrets and ate at dinner parties only twice monthly… that's the kind of intellectual snobbery that almost makes me want to puke. This… this man having, as a fervently held opinion, a conviction that to be a good writer, the privileged soul struck with the muse must be in touch with poverty, must experience it. It makes me feel rancid inside to even think about it, frankly. Yes, I'm sure all of those people like that bus driver bloke whose novel became quite popular in literary circles recently - he really enjoys being on the front line of poverty, doesn't he, with his terribly difficult review writing job. I mean, I don't know when he had the time to do the thing that put food on his table, or paid his rent, in between the trials of writing reviews and his novel. Oh the callouses on the hands of Paul Throux, as he he scraped his living…

To be totally fair, I'm not dissing Theroux or VS Naipaul here, it's Paulin's ludicrous assumptions of this mythical "Heroic state". Poverty is not a heroic state, it is not something to be experienced by the middle class as a career option before moving on to something more lucrative. Poverty is something that no one who is poor wants to be. It's destructive, evil and anyone who grew up poor and becomes in some way not poor anymore is usually fucking glad of the fact. To equate the act of writing, and supporting yourself, choosing to embrace poverty as if that is somehow positive and to be applauded is an insult to people who genuinely have no option but to work their arses off in jobs they hate to scribble at home in the evenings, in the hope that they can escape their economic state and very possibly reality state (if only while they're writing). Don't forget, the university educated who refuse to go in to a "career" and who choose instead to work at achieving a place in the world, accepting that they might be broke for a while but knowing that at any time they could stop it - actually choosing the harder path - those people are NOT heroic. It is simply a different way of doing it. I did it for three years and looking back at it, fucking hated it at the time, but at least I had a damn choice. I could have gone and been a secretary if I wanted.
Fuckit if you can't have an opinion…

3rd

Even stranger. One of those ego-boosting things that are quite weird. Ok, so I mailed Danny and said "Look, I haven't even seen any of these not infrequent TV appearances that no one in the UK watches. Have you? What am I like? Should I do or not do some things like, scratch my head less or rub my hands together less, say "errrr" with less frequency???
He mailed back and said that completely unbidden, the Editor had said something nice about me when he came out of the editing suite, so that was… uh… weird. I'm not very good at accepting compliments, even when I ask for them directly!
So - second strange slightly ego boosting thing of the day was that they called me back *again* and said that they had been interested in something I'd said in a "predictions for the new year" slot (uh - for a different programme!), so would I come back next week for the "the future" show.
Blimey. They've even started paying for my cabs. Strange-o.

2nd

Invited back to do "Dots and Queries" again for .TV. The end of the year revue show, so I felt quite touched - and a bit unnerved to be honest. I mean - well look, ok, no one watches this daft nonsense anyway, but you know - end of the year round-up… sounds impressive anyway. Was the usual, and what is nice is that you tend to meet new people - in this case, lurvely US type, Jane. She reminded me immediately of every smart American based at some point on the West Coast I have ever met. Cute/smart/funny/nice.

More November '98
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